Chris Krueger introduced Wendy Hamilton from Omaha Nebraska, stating that Wendy knows another friend of Mesa West - Buey Tut with Aqua Africa.  

 

Wendy is the Chief Development Officer at Girl Scouts Spirit of Nebraska. She earned her Bachelor of Arts in theatre from Coe College (Cedar Rapids, IA) and her Master of Fine Arts in theatre management from Wayne State University (Detroit, MI). After living on the East Coast for several years, Wendy “boomeranged” back to Omaha in 2007 when her mother, aka “Moppy,” was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Her family’s story has been featured in Autism Asperger’s Digest and in the book, Different, Not Less by Dr. Temple Grandin. She has presented at many state and national conferences as well as spoken at TEDxOmaha (The Story of Fred and Leroy: My Mom has Autism, 2014). She currently serves on the Board of Temple Israel and the Nebraska Ehlers-Danlos Awareness and Support Group. Wendy is the past Chair of the Omaha Mayor’s Commission for Citizens with Disabilities, and previously served on the National Affiliate Leaders Committee for the Autism Society of America and Autism Society of Nebraska. Wendy has been named a Ten Outstanding Young Omahan, is a graduate of Leadership Omaha, and the New Leaders Council-Omaha. She is the mom of twin sister greyhounds who are practically perfect except when they’re not.

 

Wendy began by stating that she is getting used to using Zoom to do public speaking and serving as an advocate for those who have autism, but is challenged by the fact that when she shares her screen, she loses the ability to "read" her audience if she chooses to appear to be talking directly to the audience because she is looking toward the camera.  Because theater is a large part of her background, reading her audience is important for her.

 

Wendy and her sister have known from a unique perspective the impact of autism.  They are daughters of a mother who has autism.  Their mother's name is Rhoda.  Rhoda loves a pun and she loves to give people nicknames.  Rhoda called Wendy's older sister "Leroy" and called Wendy "Fred."  To her daughters, Rhoda was "Moppy."  When Moppy learned that Wendy would be presenting information about Autism to a Rotary Club in Arizona, she said - Oh, so you'll be speaking to Rhodary today.  Wendy proceeded to tell the story of Fred and Leroy.

 

Wendy's goal is to help change the way people think about autism.  She asked everyone to close their eyes and imagine the word "mother," focusing on the images that come to mind, the emotions that come to mind, and the sensory memories.  She then asked everyone to try to imagine a person with autism in a parental role.  People with autism are typically socially awkward and may even misbehave in public.  She asked everyone to then imagine a woman with characteristics like the main character in the movie Rain Man as a mother.

 

Wendy's hope is to go beyond raising awareness.  Her hope is that people will think about autism differently and talk about it differently.  She was happy to have the opportunity to speak to a Rotary Club as we have a common desire to make the world better.

 

The early years of Fred and Leroy's lives were what was familiar to them.  It wasn't until they stepped outside what was familiar that they grew to realize how different their lives were.  They knew their mom was different.  As they grew into themselves, they had an inherent desire to understand their mother.

 

In their household, routine was everything.  Waving from a window at the school bus was one of the very few signs of affection Moppy was able to show.  She didn't do normal "mom" things like cook, clean house, help with homework or show physical affection.  As time passed, Moppy required more and more hours of "me" time.  Fred felt like her mother was not interested in her - like she wasn't even visible.

 

Rhoda developed pretty normally until about age six.  At about age seven she was aware of people talking about her.  She was teased and tormented and forced to transfer schools repeatedly.  One incident of bullying was very painful.  Other students took her clothes and left her in a bathroom naked and Rhoda was blamed for starting the "fight."

 

Wendy's grandmother was very aware of the stigma that was associated with a child that was different, but Rhoda was under the radar and was never diagnosed until well into adulthood.

 

Fred as a young child wondered if she was selfish and ungrateful and just didn't know how to treat her mom the right way.  She rememberd one day after school, her mom was lying on a giant waterbed.  Fred cuddled up nest to her and for once, Moppy didn't push her away.  Fred felt Moppy's heartbeat on her cheek.  As a child she remembered thinking "Maybe a beating heart was all we will ever have in common."  They started moving away from each other.  Leroy didn't need her mom the way Fred did.  Fred loved to go to other homes and enjoyed watching moms doing normal mom things.  It was not a normal kind of life.  Feeling love from their mom was a constant work in progress.

 

Rhoda had married in 1971 - and the marriage finally reached a breaking point after twenty plus years.  Fred and Leroy had always been daddy's girls.  Their father took full custody of Fred and she was estranged from her mom all through high school.  After college, Wendy was eventually able to forgive her mom and herself.

 

Over the years, there were various idagnosis(es):

These were all words.  They didn't change anything.  Moppy was still her very feisty, curious self.

 

Autism Spectrum Disorder provided a better understanding and perspective of what could and could not be managed.  Dr. Temple Grandin is a scientist and an advocate for better understanding of autism and the world's need for all kinds of brains.  She has been a kindred soul in recent years of the Fred and Leroy story.  

 

Wendy said autism doesn't go away with adulthood.  We need to change the conversation.  Her mother worked as a cashier at a giant box retail store from age 14 to 66.5.  She does have a pension.  She does not qualify for disability.  Wendy said her mom is verbally gifted.  She has survived 70 years as an adult with autism without services.  

 

If you missed the program, and would like to hear Wendy tell the story of Fred and Leroy, CLICK HERE for her Ted Talk Video.  If you did hear Wendy's presentation, you may want to share the link with a friend or loved one.

 

As the meeting was wrapping up, Allan Cady reported that he had worn eight separate hats during the meeting, and at $5 each plus his ten happy dollars, he understood his total pledge to be $50.